Human Relationships

The real relationship goal is understanding one another.


A Day in the Life of a Could Have Been Valedictorian

“Tis the only comfort of the miserable to have partners in their woes.” – Miguel de Cervantes

What happened? You feel that you’ve been mistreated or CHEATED. So you raise the complaint and filed it appropriately. Now you have your case. But it turned out that the verdict was not in your favour. You filed for an appeal. They say your appeal was unreasonable. Again, you’ve been denied. Still, you can’t simply accept it. Who would?

Of course, you’ll think of another course of action. A desperate situation calls for a desperate action. You decided to air your sentiments publicly to validate your position after you’ve been denied. You get sympathy by playing the victim. If this was really your plan, as you found a way to somehow mislead the Authorities, I do not know what is next, but you were able to get a following. Who knows? It might serve you better in the future. It’s too early to tell. As P.T Barnum says: “Every crowd has a silver lining.”

Was it worth it? Maybe yes; you let off some steam. I understand somehow that it feels better when there are people with you in times like these. It feels better when you know that people take heed of your suffering, whether they may be true or not. Most of the time, we mistake sympathy for love and understanding. At the end of the day,  we’re human beings. But why do you need this title so badly? What does it mean to you? These are the things that only you could know and nobody else could ever answer for you.

What did you get in the end? Justice? Maybe after all, you just wanted to be heard. But really what you got is a STIGMA. I don’t know if it’s good or bad, or until when will you carry it. To a Journalist, you are just right holding unto so-called “Freedom of Speech”. To a Conservative, it seems that you do not know a thing or two about modesty by expressing a contempt or disdain in the Authorities. To a Rebellious Teen who hates the world, you are an ever wonderful paragon after you stirred their emotions. To those who are mild and meek, you are a bit of an Extremist. To an average man who rushes to generalise without looking onto other possibilities,  you are the victim and you deserve all the privilege without asking for reasons why. And you will know them very easily by hearing “Syempre”. They are like sheep and they also feel somewhat entitled to a lot of things in life.

We live in a society that is governed by certain rules. We sometimes conform while sometimes do not. We do not even know why some of them are needed to be followed. But we have enforcers and moderators to guard these rules; without them, we simply fall into chaos. In some instances we are tempted to bend or even break these rules in order for us to get our way. One may ask, what if those who hold the rules are the ones who break them? This is when things get messy – if we fall into a belief that the situation warrants us to do the same.

Life is tough, we just have to get used to it and try to extract the lessons. No matter how unfair things might be, the next time you get your chance, you can make your mark so clearly distinguishable, (just like this one) regardless if you will end up as first, second or even last. That way, no one could ever question your position.

People, Are People

How hard would it be, if things have gone differently?

This is one of the questions I ask myself in quiet times. It is in these moments when I get to confront myself and be able to answer tough questions.

As an engineer, I was trained to work with numbers, patterns, logic and relationships. This enables me to design and create systems. Had these thoughts not crossed my mind, much of my time might still be confined in stuff that only has to do with engineering.

I understand that we all have to fill different roles in society in order to make progress. Different people do different things. As I observed, we all, ultimately, do the same things but we tend to operate in different mindset and perspective. It bothers me to think that most of us spend the big chunk of our lives perfecting our craft, our profession or whatever it is we do. Quite in the contrary, certain areas of our lives require us to function in a more flexible and general fashion.

I wonder. If we spend much of our time in understanding people, in understanding how we interact with one another, maybe we would get to see a better life. It is quite stunning that most of us tend to devote their lives in the study of the objects of the world; learning about computers, animals, plants, even the heavenly bodies, but not about people, as human beings, with whom we spend our entire life with. I wonder how different would it be.

As I ponder through these thoughts, there’s a certain subject that I have in mind – Relationships.

I said earlier that I’m an engineer. I work, using the laws of science and nature, to design and create systems. The wonderful thing about this, is I get a certain degree of control and somehow I could predict the results. I call the shots.

I wish I could say that the same is true for relationships. So when the time comes that they have to end, we could easily have them ended just as how beautifully as we intended them to be, in the beginning. But I guess they are not, and I’m afraid they could never be. We hurt, we lost but somehow we trust and ultimately, we love. Relationships, unlike engineering, are not governed by exact science. When some series of events happen, natural or otherwise, one after another, relationships could end up severed, in a dead-end. In some cases, it is too late to be saved; although personally, I don’t close doors on people.

As human beings, we all have hopes and wishes; frustrations and regrets. At one point or another, we bet on people to be there for us, with us, as part of our future. But for certain reasons, they cannot or for others, we simply cannot. When we dwell deep inside to look for the right reasons and for the seemingly good answer, it is there where we find how hard it is to let go, or how hard it is to believe that it isn’t worth to give up.

As they say, all things must pass and all things inevitably come to an end. It is right there where I am certain: in every ending, there are thoughts, feelings and words which never found their way toward expression…

So, how hard would it be, if things have gone differently?


The Importance Of Love

“Love, without question, is life’s greatest experience.” – Napoleon Hill

I’m writing today to dwell on an area which I think most people would want to be well-engaged with. I’m sending this out, most especially today that I’m happy and well inspired despite the tough times which happen to all of us every now and then. Let’s have something spiritual today.

To me, it is something that transpires past through the distance, the place and the time. It transcends through the spirit which it gives joy; something that is unbounded and cannot be contained in any language, even Mathematics. It has its own reason that reason can never understand. It is something UNCONDITIONAL. So, let’s all be happy, let’s talk about LOVE.

Lovers By Alex Gray

I am simply sharing a very wonderful piece ever written. I am borrowing an excerpt from Napoleon Hill’s “Think And Grow Rich”; and hoping you would have the same positive experience once you read it through.

The Importance Of Love

“Love, romance and sex are all emotions capable of driving people to heights of super achievements. When combined, these three emotions may lift you to an altitude of a genius. Every person who has been moved by genuine love knows that it leaves enduring traces upon the human heart. The effect of love endures because love is spiritual in nature.

Those who cannot be stimulated to great heights of achievement by love are hopeless; they are dead, though they may seem to live. If you believe you are unfortunate because you have loved and lost, you are wrong. One who has loved truly, can never lose entirely. Love is whimsical and temperamental; it comes when it pleases and it goes away without warning. Accept and enjoy it while it remains; but spend no time worrying about its departure. Worry will never get it back.

Dismiss the thought that love only comes once. Love may come and go times without number; but there are no two love experiences that affect you in just the same way. There may be one love experience that leaves deeper imprint on the heart than all the others; but all love experiences are beneficial, except to the person who becomes resentful and cynical when love makes its departure.

…There should be no disappointment over love; and there would be none if people understood the difference between the emotion of love and sex. Love is an emotion of many shades and colors. But the most intense and burning of all, is that experienced in the blending in the emotions of love and sex. Marriages or committed relationships that are not blessed with love, properly balanced with sex, cannot be happy ones, and seldom endure.

Love alone will not bring happiness nor will sex alone. Love is spiritual. Sex is biological. No experience that touches the human heart with a spiritual force can possibly be harmful, except by ignorance or jealousy.”

So, how much have you loved? What’s stopping you from savoring this very wonderful experience?
Were you moved by this? Let me hear from you.

All the warmth,